Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
