ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
