Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
vagina is talking i cant
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
