i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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