I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
