I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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