As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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