Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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