I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
