apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
