He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
