Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
