The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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