Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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