apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
