If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
