Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
