I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
