like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
