Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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