i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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