so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just cropdusted the office
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
