Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
