just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
