Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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