She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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