my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
