Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
