Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
