I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
