she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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