Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
