Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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