I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
