More tranny stories later!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
