Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
