He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
