She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
