and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
