She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
