if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
