the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is classic penis vs brain.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
