I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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