you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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