The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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