It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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