ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
