i think i have two assholes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
