Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
