I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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