how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
